It’s Monday night and you know you need to eat, but you’ve worn out your healthy list of options and you’re looking for something new. You Google up “healthy recipes” and gag at the descriptions of “wholesome” or “fit” fare. How many times can you bend over backwards to make brown rice and veggies palatable? Well I have good news for you. I’ve found kick-ass veggie cooking instruction with some major sass. If Martha Stewart, Tony Soprano, and Snoop Dog had a baby that blogged this would be it. Thug Kitchen shocks you into paying attention to what shit goes into your pie hole with a big F-you! Don’t think filthy language and clean eating go together? Think again. This guy (who not Vegan but his girlfriend is) started blogging to inspire the masses to eat like they give a fuck. He writes ah-maz-balls recipes that are simple enough for even well, the laziest MF’s to make. But don’t take my word for it. Get your ass over to Thug Kitchen so you can grub like a fucking champ not a chump.
It’s true- I often get strange looks while I’m walking down the street holding a bright green concoction in my hands. “What is that?” people want to know. It’s green juice people. It’s hella good for you, and it’ll make you feel like a super woman, so close your eyes and drink! I wasn’t always keen on green. Juice wizard and wellness warrior, Kris Carr first made green foxy in her Crazy Sexy Diet book. Kris is a cancer “thriver” and developed an alkaline diet that’s kept her healthy based on plant and veggie goodness. She’s hardcore and swaps green juice/smoothies for breakfast, snacks, and even (gasp!) coffee! While I’m not as committed to the surrender of my morning joe, I’ve been adding juice to my health regime four or five days a week now and am a convert. I have more energy, don’t get sick as easily (knocking on wood as I write:), have improved digestion (nuff said), and overall am just nicer. So, if you want to go green, I’ve included a few of my favorite green smoothie and juice recipes for you to try at home. If you have vegetable phobias, stick with mild greens like spinach, cucumber, and celery. Make sure to mix in some sweetness like apple or pear to trick your tastebuds. I challenge you to do the juice thang at least once a week for the next 6 weeks and see if you don’t feel like you have wings. Make juice not war.
Kris Carr’s Daily Green Juice
- -2 large cucumbers (peeled if not organic)
- -big fistful of kale
- -big fistful of sweet pea sprouts
- -4 – 5 stalks celery
- -1 – 2 big broccoli stems
- -1 pear or green apple (optional)
- -1 inch of ginger (or less)
- 1 ½- 2 cups very cold, filtered water
- 6 cups spinach, chopped
- 5 cups organic romaine lettuce, chopped
- 2 stalks of organic celery
- 1 organic apple, cored and chopped
- 1 organic pear, cored and chopped
- 1 organic banana
- 1–2 Tbs. fresh organic lemon juice
- Ice cubes (the extra coldness can help newbies with the taste)
- 1/2 cup of organic cilantro
- 1/2 cup of organic parsley
Add water, spinach and chopped romaine to the blender. Starting the blender on a low speed; mix until smooth.
Gradually move to higher speeds and add the herbs, celery, pear, and apple. Add the banana and lemon juice last.
My Favorite Chartreuse Juice
- 1 bundle of Organic Spinach
- 2 organic cucumbers
- 2 Organic Green Apples
- Ginger to taste